What Lack I Yet?

I wanted to share a scripture that is currently changing my life at the moment. It’s found in Matthew 19:20: What Lack I Yet. Now to give you a little background on this scripture, it comes from the story of the Rich Young ruler. 

 And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?

And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.

Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.

And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth [up: what lack I yet?]

Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.

And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.

There was one night, I was laying in bed and this scripture came to my mind “What Lack I Yet”. And during this time, I was at a place in my life where things were going pretty well for me and my family. I had a really good job that paid really well, there was peace in my home, my kids had everything they needed. And everything was just really good. But that night that question came to my mind “What lack I yet” so I decided to do an experiment and ask God that question: What Lack I Yet. 

And can I give you a little warning: If you’re going to ask God this question, make sure you’re sincere about it and that you’re willing to do what He’s about to reveal to you because if you’re sincerely asking “God, What Lack I Yet” or in other words, “What do you want me to work on” He’s going to be brutally honest with you and will tell you exactly the changes you need to make in your life to get you to where he needs you to be and to help you become the person he wants you to become. 

So going back to the scene . . . I was laying in bed and I ask Him “God, What Lack I Yet?” and clear as day, I heard him say in my mind “You lack the TIME required to be the mother that I need you to be for your children”.

Ummm WHAT? This hit me like a ton of bricks. And just like how the scriptures described the rich young rulers reaction “And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved”. I felt sad when I received that message and went away grieved. Grieved because God was right! I was spending 12 to sometimes 16 hours a day at work that I didn't really have the time, energy and patience for my kids after my work day was over. And I came to realize that I was spending the best years of my life, where I still have my health and my energy and mental stamina on a company that really meant nothing and my thoughts were mainly consumed with how I can improve at work and please my boss than how can I improve my kids and please God.   

So I was definitely sad at that message and grieved a little bit. The story of the rich young ruler never really revealed the outcome of whether the ruler followed Jesus’ instruction or not to sell everything he had. But I knew that with my own story and with my own life, I was determined to follow through with what God had asked me to do. 

So fast forward 3 months to today: I’m in my last week of work and starting next week, I’ll officially be a stay at home mom. 

For some people, this might be a hard decision right, because, honestly, this decision meant that I would be cutting our household income by more than half and we would lose out on our insurance benefits, which would be tough for anyone. But I was surprised at how easy this decision to leave my job was because I knew that at the end of my life, I didn’t want to hear from my kids the phrase “Mom, you were never there for me because you were always working”. And since I already got confirmation from God that this is what He wants me to do right now, it made the decision to leave the job that gave us “all that we had” and to take up my cross and follow Him easy.  

Now what happens next, I’m sure is NOT going to be easy. I don’t know how we’re going to make ends meet. I don’t know how we’re going to afford health insurance. I honestly feel like Moses and the children of Israel right now, knee deep in water, continuing to walk deeper into the red sea, not knowing what’s going to happen. BUT because I know God DID part the red sea for them, and not only did He part the red sea, but he dried up that ocean floor so they can walk through on dry ground. He’s just showing off now. And I have faith that He is going to do the same for me and my life. He says “I the Lord am bound when you do what I say”. So He is bound not only to part this sea for my family but He is going to show off somehow and I’m excited to see what’s in store!